I've decided what my cause needs to be for 2006. I don't really have any power to do anything about it, but no matter.
I really really hate ties. I don't say that as some scrub who is always wearing sneakers and holy jeans. I've been wearing suits for ten years. My tie collection could feed a small village in Africa. I've gotten dress clothes for Christmas.
But ties are the most annoying, expensive, elitist, uncomfortable, useless parasite ever invented by man. Except maybe this. But at least heels look good and accentuate the female body. Ties are butt ugly, and you can't kick them off in the middle of a meeting.
Yes, yes I know all about "dressing for success" and the importance of superficial first impressions others make of you and all that crap. If you can show me one iota of productivity gained from tieland, I'll wear one every day for the rest of my life. It's one giant delusion; we all agree to be impressed by somebody in a tie, and more impressed by somebody in an expensive tie, so we're all stuck in this prisoner's dilemma of being forced to wear ties. We just need to all agree that ties grant not the tiniest bit of social stature or utilitarian usefulness, and voila--they wil disappear overnight.
5 comments:
That is the most hilarious thing I've read in quite a while. It even tops the exams I'm grading.
I agree that ties are rather useless. I appreciate a man who dresses well, but I'd much rather see a man dressed well and comfortable. Besides, who agreed that ties needed to cost hundreds of dollars?
Pft. Maybe I'm just POd because I had to go buy some "designer apparal" last night for an xmas gift, and the salesmen were driving me insane with their asinine comments. One of them actually tried to engage me in a conversation about socks. Because obviously, next to ties, there's nothing more important in this world.
I'm glad you like it!
I do what I can to keep you entertained.
Nate--Christmas ties are the worst. I have at least enought to fill Scrooge's closet.
Have a Merry Christmas!
Charles
Haha, yes indeed. Last night, a friend of mine wore a Christmas tie to his Christmas Eve service and met up with us afterward. Well, it was "nice", so of course we all felt obligated to tell him so. Then we proceeded to make fun of him for wearing a tie to Chili's.
Nate--Well done. You should barely wear clothes to Chili's, much less a tie!
Charles
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